Morning pages

Dear Reader,

I have returned from an unannounced unspecified hiatus. There is too much too report about the interim and that is not even the point. As you know this morning pages entries are spontaneous and unstinting unedited and supposed to be in long hand and not likely to be read again it is to clear the head and spirit for the good stuff to get passed the river of complaints and chorus of mini thumb violins that accompany me everywhere well not really. Oh you have them too? Maybe they are a chorus of harmonicas or oboes kettle drums. Well if I can think through such noise it is surely not to punctuate well. So be forewarned these are not for the faint of heart and they are supposed to be approximately three pages and done every morning before much else which i have already cheated on a bit as I have checked email and had breakfast etc but it is a start none the less.

now switching from prose tooo?

If it is odd is it uneven?

I guess this is to clear the random voices that natter in the creative cafe of ones head. to tune in to something more close to your own voice. And then as the air condition kicks on and the coffee is wearing off I feel like I need to do something in the garden yes the lawn needs a mow but the exciting news is the start of a garden not what one would expect from yours truly as I always swore I would forgo dogs and gardens as my mother was very preoccupied with them perhaps obsessed for a good long part of my upbringing and so I had had enough second hand pollen and dog hair perhaps too much for my liking. Not that I don't like canines or plants and their very real quality of life enhancing ways but it is a participatory sport that I have only recently embraced trying not to hold my nose but to enjoy for its rough and dirty messiness much as I enjoy painting or traveling, meditating etc. In fact all the better that one has less overt control and must have a different level of ownership and labour of love invested in such things.

So in a burst of afternoon activity brought on to escape little children singing scales in the next room I took the terriers out for a trek around the nature trails and of course became distracted by taking pictures much to the amusement of neighbors who found me staring into bushes of crape mertle by the side of the road as if impersonating a bee of perhaps getting ready to relieve myself. It doesn't help that my cell phone is green too. Pictures are forthcoming I promise you wont be disappointed. the dogs of course both aid and disrupt this process so it becomes a strange collaboration which they only distantly grasp. " Oh why id dad stopping again? he is pointing that green thing in the bushes or at the sky or ground again. oh damn." pant pant. oh crap he is pointing it at us again." and i am cursing them for wrapping the leashes around my legs or their legs or around the bushes or straining to get a wif of armadillo.

And so the time passes as the sun sets and the children practice there scales. and instead of making diner like any normal person at 8 pm who is ravenous I start to dig the weeds and errant grass clumps from a patchy plot of yard under our bay window. yes I now feel the urge very pressing i might add to start a garden! Not just any garden mind you but a sort of memorial garden to be dedicated to the passing of Tracey's and my grandfathers three of whom departed this year. Of course it need not be that alone lest we forget all relations as the native elders would say. so future generations must be considered and of course the four directions and the earth itself well when one is ravenous and the sun is setting and it is very humid and all you have is a shovel and a little hand tri-prong thing-a-ma-gig courtesy of Tracey's folks you can only get so far before your back is sore your fingers and shoes are filled with black sand and ants and the dogs are on your last nerve for rooting around or laying around in the work zone.

So fortunately I saved by the great voice of reason(she shall remain nameless lest it go to her head):) and so all that was quickly curtailed and remedied over ambition with carry out chinese from the panda and soccer reruns of US vs. Panama see previous blog post.

Ok in the interest of the morning pages not bleeding over into afternoon digressions I will stop here and bid my fervent reader adieu.