morning pages 7.30.09

Its!
Terrsday!

and we are wanting to make love
to the day
in a new way
a fool drowning in his coffee and morning news
while the dogs chew
and the dream tide subsides
like ice cream on a hot day
at the zoo
thoughts smell like elephants and hippos
plans are cries of the howlers and gibbons
a spray of peacock feather day dreams

to clear my head for business
of priorities and fantasy
with mowers already roaring
and indoor fountains trickling
and altar open for the blessed ones
and sleep dirt still in my eyes

the republic of one is open for business
the desires of many coursing through it streets
and the guru is just out of reach
so what will we teach ourselves
about infinity
on a thursday
without alms
or an order

just wind
to stable
inside our hope chest
and a deck of fresh cards
to soldier

along the backyard fence
gardens
and undercover
barter
routes
that lead past rope swings
and redneck swimming holes

card board went out with the recycling
like ginger bread
spread with creamy salt water taffy
and pickles
still fresh in their juices

pressed up into a cuban and coffee
always back to coffee

and meditation
on the senses
senslessness
pick a card
joker

wooo hooo

Afternoon pages 7.26.09

Grabbing a quick slice of an endless rainy day

thunder breaks like a bomb overhead

lightening deters us from our kayak plans

shoulders sore from two hours of Yoga

plans for the evening

dogs are restless

then there is the perenial question

what is today

what is it going to create

meditate on

permissions and prohibitions

lineage masters

heating up last nights indian food

echoes of Millie

drawing in the bedroom

watching soccer

napping

ignoring the rowdy dogs

procrastinating on cleaning.

what am i going to create

who cares

painting to painful

write poems books etc nah

music? cant sing

books blah

pictures video

cartoons crap

sculpture shit

dreams conversations lost

just blank living

like a silent child

lost to everyones view

no garden just dirt

no plans just time

no joy just relax

no talk just words

flat ginger ale afternoon

in July slipping by

ignoring friends

and family

and listening to the rain

time to clean up

Morning pages 7.25.09

Saturday morning

weekend without fanfare

astral weeks

crampy fiance

sleeping naked

dreams of longing nubile

stood strong

the muses world shifting

beckoning the artists date

putting ribs on

and chandy

red zone gentle leader

squeals to be crushed

regret frustration

neighborhood walk

tv comedy

today is new

escape the house hold and studio dichotomy

with video camera?

or balls of thread

to make poetry

with each breath

sailboats

yawning

in and out of dock

scraggle of parking lot

paintful heat

lapping up like flames

I am looking for that place that person that thing

that that state of mind

that is untouched by time and place and its troubles

the fortress of samadhi

Milarepa's castle

which has white stones

and green moss

rising from the crags' of suffering

to the heights

kissed by conditionless

loving kindness

back down on the keyboard

fingers

pause

mind and heart bicker

over logistics

intent

wording

of

meaning

of happiness

unsought

comes hither

unbidden

finds one out

so play and work

untangle

in sweet rain of seconds

into a stream of minutes

a swelling of hours a

crashing of a day

like a gently turning page

in my unwritten book

Sir Sir

come sir come finish this finish this chapter

tell us

what next

what's next?

I dont know

I really don't know

Morning pages

Dear Reader,

I have returned from an unannounced unspecified hiatus. There is too much too report about the interim and that is not even the point. As you know this morning pages entries are spontaneous and unstinting unedited and supposed to be in long hand and not likely to be read again it is to clear the head and spirit for the good stuff to get passed the river of complaints and chorus of mini thumb violins that accompany me everywhere well not really. Oh you have them too? Maybe they are a chorus of harmonicas or oboes kettle drums. Well if I can think through such noise it is surely not to punctuate well. So be forewarned these are not for the faint of heart and they are supposed to be approximately three pages and done every morning before much else which i have already cheated on a bit as I have checked email and had breakfast etc but it is a start none the less.

now switching from prose tooo?

If it is odd is it uneven?

I guess this is to clear the random voices that natter in the creative cafe of ones head. to tune in to something more close to your own voice. And then as the air condition kicks on and the coffee is wearing off I feel like I need to do something in the garden yes the lawn needs a mow but the exciting news is the start of a garden not what one would expect from yours truly as I always swore I would forgo dogs and gardens as my mother was very preoccupied with them perhaps obsessed for a good long part of my upbringing and so I had had enough second hand pollen and dog hair perhaps too much for my liking. Not that I don't like canines or plants and their very real quality of life enhancing ways but it is a participatory sport that I have only recently embraced trying not to hold my nose but to enjoy for its rough and dirty messiness much as I enjoy painting or traveling, meditating etc. In fact all the better that one has less overt control and must have a different level of ownership and labour of love invested in such things.

So in a burst of afternoon activity brought on to escape little children singing scales in the next room I took the terriers out for a trek around the nature trails and of course became distracted by taking pictures much to the amusement of neighbors who found me staring into bushes of crape mertle by the side of the road as if impersonating a bee of perhaps getting ready to relieve myself. It doesn't help that my cell phone is green too. Pictures are forthcoming I promise you wont be disappointed. the dogs of course both aid and disrupt this process so it becomes a strange collaboration which they only distantly grasp. " Oh why id dad stopping again? he is pointing that green thing in the bushes or at the sky or ground again. oh damn." pant pant. oh crap he is pointing it at us again." and i am cursing them for wrapping the leashes around my legs or their legs or around the bushes or straining to get a wif of armadillo.

And so the time passes as the sun sets and the children practice there scales. and instead of making diner like any normal person at 8 pm who is ravenous I start to dig the weeds and errant grass clumps from a patchy plot of yard under our bay window. yes I now feel the urge very pressing i might add to start a garden! Not just any garden mind you but a sort of memorial garden to be dedicated to the passing of Tracey's and my grandfathers three of whom departed this year. Of course it need not be that alone lest we forget all relations as the native elders would say. so future generations must be considered and of course the four directions and the earth itself well when one is ravenous and the sun is setting and it is very humid and all you have is a shovel and a little hand tri-prong thing-a-ma-gig courtesy of Tracey's folks you can only get so far before your back is sore your fingers and shoes are filled with black sand and ants and the dogs are on your last nerve for rooting around or laying around in the work zone.

So fortunately I saved by the great voice of reason(she shall remain nameless lest it go to her head):) and so all that was quickly curtailed and remedied over ambition with carry out chinese from the panda and soccer reruns of US vs. Panama see previous blog post.

Ok in the interest of the morning pages not bleeding over into afternoon digressions I will stop here and bid my fervent reader adieu.

US U.S. Men Move on to Gold Cup Semifinals With 2-1 Overtime Victory Against Panama

Kenny Cooper Buries Penalty Kick in First Overtime to Put U.S. Through to Semifinal Kyle Beckerman Scores First International Goal With Equalizer in Second Half U.S. Will Face Honduras on Thursday, July 23 at Soldier Field in Chicago at 6 p.m. CT, Live on Fox Soccer Channel and TeleFutura

PHILADELPHIA (July 18 2009) — The U.S. Men’s National Team got a stunning strike from Kyle Beckerman and a penalty kick in overtime from Kenny Cooper to defeat Panama 2-1 this evening at Lincoln Financial Field and advance to the semifinals of the 2009 CONCACAF Gold Cup. The U.S. will face Honduras in the semifinals on Thursday, July 23 at 6 p.m. CT at Soldier Field in Chicago. The match will be broadcast live on Fox Soccer Channel, TeleFutura and the Futbol de Primera Radio Network. Fans can also follow the match live on ussoccer.com’s MatchTracker and Twitter. The U.S. fell behind when Panama capitalized on a corner kick during injury time of the first half, but Beckerman struck back early in the second half for the equalizer. Cooper, who came on for Davy Arnaud in the 77th minute, was fouled inside the penalty area late in the first overtime. Cooper took the spot kick himself, placing it just past the outstretched arms of goalkeeper Jaime Penedo, off the post and in for the game-winner. “It was a challenge to the team to be in that spot at halftime and I still felt good that the response was strong,” said U.S. Men’s National Team head coach Bob Bradley. “When we didn't finish the game in regulation, you still got a sense the mentality was "we're going to take care of this thing. The players deserve a lot of credit for that." The match, which was a rematch of a 2007 CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal, saw several starters from the first two matches return to the lineup, including Beckerman who had only come on in reserve against Haiti.

“The ball went out wide and was sent across. I gambled a little bit just thinking it may pop out to the top of the box,” said Beckerman. “Sometimes you gamble and sure enough the ball finds your foot.”

http://www.ussoccer.com/articles/viewArticle.jsp_15237132.html

Use Time Wisely-Slack Off

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-weiner11sep11,0,2618052.story

(Just for laughs) Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Corporate America-Not!

Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Corporate America ...

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.

2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

6. Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

16. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

17. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

18. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

19. By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

20. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

21. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

22. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.

23. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

24. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.

25. Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.

26. No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.

27. Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing.

28. Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

29. Never pass a snow plow on the right.

30. If you can smile when everything goes wrong, you probably don't understand the problem.