morning pages 8.23.09

Time and time again

coming back to the moment

left off yesterday and not quite over

waiting for this and that and coffee

no urge for much

of anything

just percolating

toward tomorrow

the last day of summer

everything shifts gears

and the hamster wheel cranks up again

like a the cotton candy spinner

squeezes out the fun from green to blue and white

yellow artificial joy

I am just happy for toast

good toast if a bit dry

and the butter chunky

wanting nothing in particular

just wondering when the waves of desire

will turn tide and the storms

of emotion will turn back

for landfall

perhaps I will be in the

mountains by then

or in a cell

or just driving up the coast

to escape the bad paintings

and poems

that follow and the mediocre meditation

that always gives way to giddy statements or errant

questions and dull clock watching

smelling the incense as if that is all the difference

but its no fun getting down on oneself that just

the flip side of the same narcissistic coin

the common coin of our realm

I me mine and not

thou you yours

Feung sway mirrors

babbbling fountains

unread newspapers

unanswered messages

no schedule

to rot to grow

to fornicate

to garden, eat

fall asleep

wake, shower

change into

fresh clothes

or watch tv

never mind

talk of plans

and the

travels of

dreaming

let the dew drops fall or dangle

I want to dance...